SNOWBALL FIGHT!

Every league out in darkspace had given their war comet a nom de guerre; for instance, the Bubblegum Battalion had their tried and true Fuchsia Machsine,whose engines were hidden beneath a thick shell of rose quartz and adhesive snow (30% marshmallow by volume). Despite their name, they were, in fact, all out of bubblegum, and had been for upwards of three months now.  Their comet was drifting through the abyss after a humiliating defeat, having been outfoxed and outgunned by Licorice Laboratories’ Malted Marauder.

By the time their telescopes spotted the Oglitterator, they had grown restless. The surface of the Fuchsia Machsine was covered in pyramids of densely-packed, colorful snowballs, their pink hues now marbled with obsidian from their previous battle. The comet’s engine room had been thoroughly repaired by the most industrious children aboard, who were now frantically shoveling charcoal-flavored jellybeans into its furnaces. Each and every one of them could taste vengeance in the recycled air of their spacesuits. 

An icy flare sped across their bow- a warning shot. Their polychrome foe was approaching at seven o’clock, riding their tail to obscure progress. In the magnified view, they could see hundreds of children just like themselves through the mist, dressed in suits of wild tinsel and fishbowl helmets, fists loaded with rainbows of phosphorescent snow. Their league was undefeated, known for worlds around as The Gummi Galactic, feared flyers of the Jovian Roger.

Several enemy scouts were already launching ahead on jetpacks, possibly to board and sabotage. The Bubblegum Battalion sent several of their own out to meet them, resulting in a few small skirmishes and flurries. It was nothing compared to the cannon fire that began shortly thereafter- thick globs of colorful winter slamming into faces and hulls alike, splattering and exploding in hundreds of directions at once. The Gummis were stunned at their ferocity- it had been ages since anyone had managed to match them shot for shot.

It was a dead even exchange of Pollock-style smears of snow, confectionary engineering, and raw Spartan grit. While outclassed, it was clear that the Bubblegums wanted victory that much more- but their supplies were simply too low to maintain the pace demanded. The engine room’s pipes had begun to leak saccharine steam, and numerous fractures had formed in the Machsine’s surface from constant bombardment. Rather than give up, however, they did the unthinkable: they launched the largest snowball at their disposal by ramming the Oglitterator head on.

The results were catastrophic. Although countless chunks of ice and stone were scattered into the abyss, the surviving heads of the comets were now jammed together, connected by webbings of superheated marshmallow left exposed by the blast. Their engines were completely inoperable, bent into squid-like configurations of twisted metal and molten sugar. The exhausted crews lined up and shook hands, one by one, until the captains at last saw each other eye to eye.

“Let’s play something else,” the lead Gummi was barely holding back tears. “This isn’t fun anymore.”

“Yeah,” agreed her adversary. “Let’s.”

THE TESSERACTIVE TIGER

VANISHING POINT